Wednesday 4 October 2017
Halloween night
When I got out of bed it was Halloween I got my bag set out to get a lot of candy. But at that very moment I saw girl and her dog, and the dog was wearing glasses I went up to her said hi my names kay what’s yours she looked scared. She said my name is then she ran away with her dog, An hour went by I said I need candy so I went to 15 houses before going home. My dad said that’s a lot of candy. Before I could have a bit of candy my dad at it all
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The order of events in your story don't make sense as you are getting out of bed then you see a girl and dog, where? they run away then you went to get candy then home. Check over our story that it makes sense. Also, check for the correct work usage in your last sentence.
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