My Birthday
It's Monday, My birthday "I shouted with excitement" We just got to the gift's. All of my gift's looked amazing but the one that took me away was the beautiful white wrapped gift. Inside was a neckless with a flame on it. Tomorrow was here I put on my neckless and set out. We went to the swimming pool to watch my sister swim. She won the competition and we all celebrated. Before I knew it it was bed time. I got in to bed and my Mom came,
"good night"
"good night"
and that was my birthday.
You have an idea for a story but you need to work on connecting the events in your story together. Some parts of your story are random and don't fit into your theme, almost like you needed to use the prompts but just pieced together some sentences. Work on having it flow right from the beginning to the end.
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